We occasionally hear from clients about what you could term the “frustration of success.” Though it might sound like an oxymoron, it really is not. Over the years, we’ve had the honor of seeing many people achieve their goals. Oftentimes these goals have been ones they’ve planned for and worked toward for years. They achieve that goal, or they reach that place they’ve aimed for, and expect their success to bring significant happiness or fulfillment, only to feel underwhelmed once the initial excitement fades.

Success is complex because its meaning varies from person to person. Even for the same individual, the meaning of success can change throughout different seasons of life.

When we look at how Merriam-Webster defines success, it’s interesting to note that it doesn’t mention happiness or fulfillment. The dictionary defines success as “a favorable or desired outcome” or “the attainment of wealth, favor, or eminence.”

I found interesting the inclusion of the word “eminence,” which means “a position of prominence or superiority.” This implies that the traditional definition of success is relative to those around us, since achieving a position of prominence requires comparison to others. And because comparison often robs us of joy, it’s easy to understand why success—no matter how significant —can tend to lead to feelings of frustration.

One way to address this “frustration of success” is to remember that success is deeply personal and shouldn’t be judged against anyone else. It’s an individual measure that only we can define for ourselves.

We often label people as successful based on what we assume their goals are, like those of the most wealthy businesspeople or entrepreneurs. But what if their definition of success is different? What if their business success came at the cost of their most cherished relationships? Would they still consider themselves successful in that case?

Regardless, the individual’s opinion is the one that truly matters. This highlights an essential truth: The only path to lasting happiness and fulfillment might be in defining what success means to us and pursuing that vision, while tuning out external opinions.

With that in mind, I encourage you to reflect on two questions:

From the many conversations we’ve had, it seems that success for most of us is about finding the right balance between our professional or financial goals and our desire to cultivate meaningful relationships with those we care about most.

Admittedly, achieving that balance is often much easier said than done. There are times in life when one area may take priority over others. But that’s precisely why we can’t just set our goals and forget them. Our definition of success is constantly evolving, so it’s important to periodically check in with ourselves to ensure we’re on the right track.

I hope this serves as a reminder to check in with yourself and, if needed, make adjustments to align more closely with what you truly value most in life.

This material is not financial advice or an offer to sell any product and is not a recommendation to buy or sell any particular security. The opinions expressed are those of the Saling Wealth Advisors’ Management Investment Team and are subject to change without notice.

Saling Wealth Advisors (“SWA”) is an independent SEC registered investment advisor. Registration does not imply a certain level of skill or training. This material is provided for informational and educational purposes only. More information about SWA including our advisory services, fees, and objectives can be found in our Form ADV Part 2A, which is available upon request.